Yes, I am VERY late with this. Sorry!
The Cookie Monster got home from Iraq almost 8 months early in November, so I haven't needed to post any deployment tips for a while. But never fear, he is deploying to the middle east again this summer, so I'll pick them back up then. Obviously, this means I'm back in Texas. We decided not to go back to the apartment complex (from HELL) and are MUCH happier in our new home! I'm looking for work (I hope to hear about a potential job this week!), and hanging out with friends a lot. I feel much more at home here now than I did before our Iraq adventure began.
I hope to come up with something interesting to write about soon! Stay tuned :)
Monday, February 13, 2012
Monday, September 26, 2011
Surviving Deployments
Lot's of military wives blog about this same subject, it's perfectly common. I, however, would like to do it over time, learning as I go, with my own personal flare. Sound good? Yay :-)
Tip #1: DON'T watch Dr. Zhivago.
You're home alone and you figure "Eh, I'll watch a classic, why not?" Well, the dude has a wife AND a mistress. You're home alone, missing the love of your life, and this guy gets TWO women at his every beck and call? Having every emotional and sexual need fulfilled twice over? How the hell is THAT any fair?! You'd kill for just ONE particular wo/man to be there with you, and this guy gets TWO? Eff that! This movie just makes for one pissy jealousy fest- if you feel overcome with the need to watch it, run. Run to the library or movie rental place and get ANYTHING else. Even Jane Eyre will put you in a better mood.
Tip #1: DON'T watch Dr. Zhivago.
You're home alone and you figure "Eh, I'll watch a classic, why not?" Well, the dude has a wife AND a mistress. You're home alone, missing the love of your life, and this guy gets TWO women at his every beck and call? Having every emotional and sexual need fulfilled twice over? How the hell is THAT any fair?! You'd kill for just ONE particular wo/man to be there with you, and this guy gets TWO? Eff that! This movie just makes for one pissy jealousy fest- if you feel overcome with the need to watch it, run. Run to the library or movie rental place and get ANYTHING else. Even Jane Eyre will put you in a better mood.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
For once, being slightly serious
Hi all. It's been a long time, so I figured I'd take this opportunity to address my life to date. For those of you actually bored enough to be interested, you have my apologies. You're in for some serious rambling.
Paul left for Iraq in July, and I've moved back to New Jersey to be with my parents while he's gone. This decision has won me criticism from multiple people. Some of which has included, but is not limited to the following:
1. I am running away from my responsibilities as an adult.
2. I'm isolating myself from the world to sulk 24/7 about my husband being gone.
3. I am being immature for "running back to my mommy" (this kinda ties into #1).
4. I'm abandoning my husband by leaving the home we shared together, and moving across the country.
Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinion. But let's consider my life specifically before we all pass judgment. Number 1: I think I'm still caring for my responsibilities. I may live in my mother's home, but nothing has changed from my married life. I share cooking responsibilities. I do my own laundry. I vacuum the upstairs wing of the house, and clean my own bathroom. I take care of the family pets, including grooming, feeding, and cleaning. I offered to pay rent in addition to doing all of the above, which she refused. Therefore, other than paying rent, I still maintain the household responsibilities that I had before moving in. If you really think otherwise, I have to say my mother and I have the most whacked out maid arrangement I've ever seen.
Number 2: I have the phone numbers and facebook pages of most of the unit wives. I think of them often, and keep in touch regularly, as annoying as I'm sure that is. I get out and visit the friends closer in location fairly often. I go out and run errands with my mom. I'm hardly shutting myself in my room, wallowing in self pity. This was part of the whole point of me moving- I felt more isolated in one of the largest states in our country than I do in one of the smallest. I think that's more ironic than Alanis' song.
Number 3: This is our first deployment. I fucking hate living in Texas. I hate the people (except the unit wives), I hate the traffic, and I hate the heat. I could live anywhere from Texas to a shoe box in your backyard as long as my husband was with me. But why should I suffer living in a place that I hate for an entire year, completely alone? When I can be in my second home, surrounded by loving friends and family? Yea, it sounds really immature to me, and doesn't make any sense.
Number 4: Moving "home" was not an easy decision for me to make. I had to weigh lot's of pros and cons before coming to my final decision. In the end, I made this move with my husband's loving support. He understands my need to be around other family in his absence. He willingly agreed to give up the home we shared together because he knew how happy I would be being with my parents in his absence. He understood that constantly being around his things in our home would make this separation harder on me, and being in the place I inhabited when I was single would be make it easier to sustain my life without him. In being his selfless self, he agreed this move was best for me. If I have his blessing, I'm hardly abandoning him. I keep in constant contact with him- I am always available to him, emotionally speaking. And since he's on the other side of the world right now, I don't see how me being somewhere else still half a world away is abandoning him. We're still apart either way; it's not like we're "more apart" if I change locations.
I hope that explains my logic behind my coming back to New Jersey. Now that you're fully informed, feel free to draw your own conclusions and form judgments. I promise to take them as seriously as I take global warming.
Paul left for Iraq in July, and I've moved back to New Jersey to be with my parents while he's gone. This decision has won me criticism from multiple people. Some of which has included, but is not limited to the following:
1. I am running away from my responsibilities as an adult.
2. I'm isolating myself from the world to sulk 24/7 about my husband being gone.
3. I am being immature for "running back to my mommy" (this kinda ties into #1).
4. I'm abandoning my husband by leaving the home we shared together, and moving across the country.
Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinion. But let's consider my life specifically before we all pass judgment. Number 1: I think I'm still caring for my responsibilities. I may live in my mother's home, but nothing has changed from my married life. I share cooking responsibilities. I do my own laundry. I vacuum the upstairs wing of the house, and clean my own bathroom. I take care of the family pets, including grooming, feeding, and cleaning. I offered to pay rent in addition to doing all of the above, which she refused. Therefore, other than paying rent, I still maintain the household responsibilities that I had before moving in. If you really think otherwise, I have to say my mother and I have the most whacked out maid arrangement I've ever seen.
Number 2: I have the phone numbers and facebook pages of most of the unit wives. I think of them often, and keep in touch regularly, as annoying as I'm sure that is. I get out and visit the friends closer in location fairly often. I go out and run errands with my mom. I'm hardly shutting myself in my room, wallowing in self pity. This was part of the whole point of me moving- I felt more isolated in one of the largest states in our country than I do in one of the smallest. I think that's more ironic than Alanis' song.
Number 3: This is our first deployment. I fucking hate living in Texas. I hate the people (except the unit wives), I hate the traffic, and I hate the heat. I could live anywhere from Texas to a shoe box in your backyard as long as my husband was with me. But why should I suffer living in a place that I hate for an entire year, completely alone? When I can be in my second home, surrounded by loving friends and family? Yea, it sounds really immature to me, and doesn't make any sense.
Number 4: Moving "home" was not an easy decision for me to make. I had to weigh lot's of pros and cons before coming to my final decision. In the end, I made this move with my husband's loving support. He understands my need to be around other family in his absence. He willingly agreed to give up the home we shared together because he knew how happy I would be being with my parents in his absence. He understood that constantly being around his things in our home would make this separation harder on me, and being in the place I inhabited when I was single would be make it easier to sustain my life without him. In being his selfless self, he agreed this move was best for me. If I have his blessing, I'm hardly abandoning him. I keep in constant contact with him- I am always available to him, emotionally speaking. And since he's on the other side of the world right now, I don't see how me being somewhere else still half a world away is abandoning him. We're still apart either way; it's not like we're "more apart" if I change locations.
I hope that explains my logic behind my coming back to New Jersey. Now that you're fully informed, feel free to draw your own conclusions and form judgments. I promise to take them as seriously as I take global warming.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Ways Women are Like Fish
Inspired by How I Met Your Mother...
1. We're attracted to shiny objects.
2. If men throw us a line, we might bite.
3. If you take us out of our environment, we either thrive, or do the dead float.
4. We all want to live in a pretty castle.
5. If you house us too close together, we eat each other alive.
6. We gesture spastically.
7. We sparkle.
8. We come in many pretty colors.
9. When solving problems, we go around in circles just to end up where we started.
10. Our tails tend to be a high point of attention.
1. We're attracted to shiny objects.
2. If men throw us a line, we might bite.
3. If you take us out of our environment, we either thrive, or do the dead float.
4. We all want to live in a pretty castle.
5. If you house us too close together, we eat each other alive.
6. We gesture spastically.
7. We sparkle.
8. We come in many pretty colors.
9. When solving problems, we go around in circles just to end up where we started.
10. Our tails tend to be a high point of attention.
Why We Wait
The Cookie Monster is leaving soon, for what will be a long time. Once again, I have people asking me "why?" Why would I ever put up with that? Why would I wait? Just, why?
Imagine your arm. It's something you ordinarily don't live without, right? It's literally an extension of your main person. So, if a doctor suddenly told you it had to be amputated, you'd be pretty upset. You'd have trouble imagining how you're going to live without it, how awful the adjustment would be, and how difficult it would be to navigate this new territory. How will you reach the cookie jar on the top shelf without that arm?
But then, the doctor tells you "It's ok, it's just temporary. In a year from now, I will have the technology to magically re-attach your arm, and make you whole again." It suddenly doesn't seem quite so bad. Yes, it will be difficult, but eventually, you will have your arm back, and your body will once again be whole.
Think about it- anything awful sounds SO much better, when it's not forever. You run out of socks and can't go shopping for a year. It's ok. You develop callouses on your feet as they get tougher and tougher. It might stink and get a little hairy sometimes (and there are sprays for that), but then that day arrives- you can go shopping again. Your shoes once again have an extra cushion of comfort and awesomeness that you feared you'd never get back again.
This is the life of a military wife (or husband). We are constantly separated from the person we love, and subject to the scrutiny of our family and friends. And that's why. No matter how much it sucks, it is only temporary. Eventually, we are together again. After learning how to operate separately, we do eventually get our arm back. Our lives do become whole again. We can once again, reach the cookie jar on the top shelf. And that's why we wait.
Imagine your arm. It's something you ordinarily don't live without, right? It's literally an extension of your main person. So, if a doctor suddenly told you it had to be amputated, you'd be pretty upset. You'd have trouble imagining how you're going to live without it, how awful the adjustment would be, and how difficult it would be to navigate this new territory. How will you reach the cookie jar on the top shelf without that arm?
But then, the doctor tells you "It's ok, it's just temporary. In a year from now, I will have the technology to magically re-attach your arm, and make you whole again." It suddenly doesn't seem quite so bad. Yes, it will be difficult, but eventually, you will have your arm back, and your body will once again be whole.
Think about it- anything awful sounds SO much better, when it's not forever. You run out of socks and can't go shopping for a year. It's ok. You develop callouses on your feet as they get tougher and tougher. It might stink and get a little hairy sometimes (and there are sprays for that), but then that day arrives- you can go shopping again. Your shoes once again have an extra cushion of comfort and awesomeness that you feared you'd never get back again.
This is the life of a military wife (or husband). We are constantly separated from the person we love, and subject to the scrutiny of our family and friends. And that's why. No matter how much it sucks, it is only temporary. Eventually, we are together again. After learning how to operate separately, we do eventually get our arm back. Our lives do become whole again. We can once again, reach the cookie jar on the top shelf. And that's why we wait.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The World of Mara's Fashion
My staple guide to wardrobes; especially for those without mirrors in the morning:
1. Jeans- don't have to actually fit. As long as they cling to you seductively, so tightly that you can see your panty seams, that's good enough. And that poochy bit squeezed out over the top of the jeans- no one even notices. So long as you achieve that hourglass look somehow, that's all that matters.
2. Shirts- should outline every little detail of what's under it, including every little roll, wrinkle, and piece of overflowing boobage. Wear it especially if it rides up over your hips, exposing just a bit of midriff.
3. Shorts- Make sure they offer as little coverage as possible. Maximum booty exposure is the name of the game. God knows my life is not complete if I don't get a class-A look a your class-A(ss).
4. Sweats- DO NOT wear them. Comfort has absolutely no value in today's fashion world. Who cares if you feel so comfy, you just want to curl up on the nearest couch and fall asleep in the middle of the day? They don't look nearly as awesome as tight cropped jeans, so don't even pretend.
5. Cover-alls will NEVER go out of style, especially denim ones.
1. Jeans- don't have to actually fit. As long as they cling to you seductively, so tightly that you can see your panty seams, that's good enough. And that poochy bit squeezed out over the top of the jeans- no one even notices. So long as you achieve that hourglass look somehow, that's all that matters.
2. Shirts- should outline every little detail of what's under it, including every little roll, wrinkle, and piece of overflowing boobage. Wear it especially if it rides up over your hips, exposing just a bit of midriff.
3. Shorts- Make sure they offer as little coverage as possible. Maximum booty exposure is the name of the game. God knows my life is not complete if I don't get a class-A look a your class-A(ss).
4. Sweats- DO NOT wear them. Comfort has absolutely no value in today's fashion world. Who cares if you feel so comfy, you just want to curl up on the nearest couch and fall asleep in the middle of the day? They don't look nearly as awesome as tight cropped jeans, so don't even pretend.
5. Cover-alls will NEVER go out of style, especially denim ones.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
How to Deal with Break-Ups
Part 2!!! Yay!!! This is slightly less funny than usual, but I hope I can make it up to everyone later :-)
1. DO NOT- keep contacting them. If they broke up with you, you may have expected it was coming, or come totally out of the blue. I know you are having all these confusing thoughts about WHY did they break up with you, what did you do wrong, etc. IGNORE them. Stalking your ex, or "trying to be friends" right away seriously defeats the point of a break-up. Which is to NOT BE TOGETHER ANYMORE. GAAAAAH! Take a band-aid for example. You rip it off all at once and cut all contact- it hurts like a MOTHER. But once the initial shock and pain occur, the pain is gone pretty quickly, like in a few minutes. It may take longer than a few minutes to get over your ex entirely, but if you bite the bullet and don't try to assuage your pain by trying to keep them around, it does end faster. If you keep creeping off the bandaid, inch by inch, it hurts the ENTIRE time. It doesn't end. It's like slowly pulling on a bandaid that stretches around the entire world. And that BLOWS. Once you are over them (as in your heart no longer flutters or spasms in pain at the sight of them), then, possibly building a new friendship can commence. But NOT until then. Because until then, you're only putting off the inevitable, and drawing it out, so when it DOES finally end somehow, it hurts a million times worse than if you dealt with the pain and loss to begin with.
2. DO- take a few days to yourself. Some people like to get out right away with friends to frget their pain. But most people like to take some time to themselves to grieve. This is normal. However, if you spend so long in bed eating ice cream that your pillow is now HELPING you eat your pint of mint chocolate chip, or you're able to braid your nosehairs- STOP and get OUT of bed. Eventually, after a few days of grieving, you should try to get out and about with friends. While it's ok to not feel like gussying yourself up or fixing your hair, PLEASE do not cease personal hygiene. Now that you're available again, you need to leave yourself open for possibilities of new tomorrows- and no decent Mr. or Ms. Tomorrow is going to be interested in you while you resemble a smelly piece of ghoul-like shrubbery. Unless you REALLY dig that kid from math class who collects his bellybutton lint in a jar.
3. DO NOT- start THROWING yourself at the same or opposite gender (whichever way you swing). Part of Rule #2 is you should take care of yourself physically because it's telepathically understood that you're still hurting a bit inside. Instantly throwing yourself into a new relationship does not allow you the time you need to properly finish the grieving process (see Rule #1). And still having that residual grief will likely just hurt you and this new relationship in the long run, and maybe make you act a lil bit crazy. NO ONE LIKES A PSYCHO BITCH. So give yourself whatever time you need to get your shit together and get over him/her. And if people are telling you you're moving too fast for just having your heart broken- LISTEN. There are too many trainwrecks on the actual railways to let yourself become a metaphorical one.
4. DO- let yourself heal. Don't keep torturing yourself with what if's, or let thoughts about your ex consume your life. The bottom line is: they said NO. You need to respect that, but you also need to acknowledge that no matter how good a reason they had, it is THEIR loss. And that leaves you with an open schedule to pursue other kinds of fun activities. Your life IS NOT over. You had a life before them, and now you need to continue down your yellow brick road WITHOUT them.
5. DO- let yourself cry sometimes. Love and loss hurt. But once you no longer feel like you're being pressed to death, pick yourself up and remember that as much as you're hurting right now, it IS temporary. You won't feel this bad forever, unless you FORCE yourself to. Which a lot of people seem to ENJOY doing. Masochists, all of you.
6. DO NOT- be a bitch. No matter who broke up with whom, spreading awful rumors about the other person or flaunting a new relationship to PURPOSEFULLY hurt your ex is not just BAD just for them. It makes YOU look bad and bitchy. Bitchy is NOT a good color on anyone. So big a bigger person and go neutral in public. Less time and energy, and more possibilities with the rest of your wardrobe.
7. DO- be a good ex. LET the other person move on. If they keep pursuing you (Rule #1), POLITELY but FIRMLY refuse them, and help them in a way that they're not helping themselves. If your ex starts seeing someone new, don't attack their new partner. The new person in their life is NOT responsible for your hurt feelings, THEY are, so keep your anger in check. And if you find yourself in a position to be so mature, try to even be happy for them, and wish them well. It's all you want for life too, so get a head start.
1. DO NOT- keep contacting them. If they broke up with you, you may have expected it was coming, or come totally out of the blue. I know you are having all these confusing thoughts about WHY did they break up with you, what did you do wrong, etc. IGNORE them. Stalking your ex, or "trying to be friends" right away seriously defeats the point of a break-up. Which is to NOT BE TOGETHER ANYMORE. GAAAAAH! Take a band-aid for example. You rip it off all at once and cut all contact- it hurts like a MOTHER. But once the initial shock and pain occur, the pain is gone pretty quickly, like in a few minutes. It may take longer than a few minutes to get over your ex entirely, but if you bite the bullet and don't try to assuage your pain by trying to keep them around, it does end faster. If you keep creeping off the bandaid, inch by inch, it hurts the ENTIRE time. It doesn't end. It's like slowly pulling on a bandaid that stretches around the entire world. And that BLOWS. Once you are over them (as in your heart no longer flutters or spasms in pain at the sight of them), then, possibly building a new friendship can commence. But NOT until then. Because until then, you're only putting off the inevitable, and drawing it out, so when it DOES finally end somehow, it hurts a million times worse than if you dealt with the pain and loss to begin with.
2. DO- take a few days to yourself. Some people like to get out right away with friends to frget their pain. But most people like to take some time to themselves to grieve. This is normal. However, if you spend so long in bed eating ice cream that your pillow is now HELPING you eat your pint of mint chocolate chip, or you're able to braid your nosehairs- STOP and get OUT of bed. Eventually, after a few days of grieving, you should try to get out and about with friends. While it's ok to not feel like gussying yourself up or fixing your hair, PLEASE do not cease personal hygiene. Now that you're available again, you need to leave yourself open for possibilities of new tomorrows- and no decent Mr. or Ms. Tomorrow is going to be interested in you while you resemble a smelly piece of ghoul-like shrubbery. Unless you REALLY dig that kid from math class who collects his bellybutton lint in a jar.
3. DO NOT- start THROWING yourself at the same or opposite gender (whichever way you swing). Part of Rule #2 is you should take care of yourself physically because it's telepathically understood that you're still hurting a bit inside. Instantly throwing yourself into a new relationship does not allow you the time you need to properly finish the grieving process (see Rule #1). And still having that residual grief will likely just hurt you and this new relationship in the long run, and maybe make you act a lil bit crazy. NO ONE LIKES A PSYCHO BITCH. So give yourself whatever time you need to get your shit together and get over him/her. And if people are telling you you're moving too fast for just having your heart broken- LISTEN. There are too many trainwrecks on the actual railways to let yourself become a metaphorical one.
4. DO- let yourself heal. Don't keep torturing yourself with what if's, or let thoughts about your ex consume your life. The bottom line is: they said NO. You need to respect that, but you also need to acknowledge that no matter how good a reason they had, it is THEIR loss. And that leaves you with an open schedule to pursue other kinds of fun activities. Your life IS NOT over. You had a life before them, and now you need to continue down your yellow brick road WITHOUT them.
5. DO- let yourself cry sometimes. Love and loss hurt. But once you no longer feel like you're being pressed to death, pick yourself up and remember that as much as you're hurting right now, it IS temporary. You won't feel this bad forever, unless you FORCE yourself to. Which a lot of people seem to ENJOY doing. Masochists, all of you.
6. DO NOT- be a bitch. No matter who broke up with whom, spreading awful rumors about the other person or flaunting a new relationship to PURPOSEFULLY hurt your ex is not just BAD just for them. It makes YOU look bad and bitchy. Bitchy is NOT a good color on anyone. So big a bigger person and go neutral in public. Less time and energy, and more possibilities with the rest of your wardrobe.
7. DO- be a good ex. LET the other person move on. If they keep pursuing you (Rule #1), POLITELY but FIRMLY refuse them, and help them in a way that they're not helping themselves. If your ex starts seeing someone new, don't attack their new partner. The new person in their life is NOT responsible for your hurt feelings, THEY are, so keep your anger in check. And if you find yourself in a position to be so mature, try to even be happy for them, and wish them well. It's all you want for life too, so get a head start.
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