Lately, I've been witnessing a lot of break-ups/divorces/what have you. So, I've decided to put together my two cents (as an observer) into two different lists: how to make your relationship as enjoyable and successful as possible, and then what to do if the worst should happen, because sometimes it is inevitable that things end. This particular list will be dedicated to making a relationship work- my next post will contain the second list.
To Make Your Relationship Even MORE Awesome:
1. DO be honest- but do know when to keep your mouth shut. Should they know about your bad mood today? Yes. Should you try to calmly discuss the situation if they've done something to upset you? Yes. Do they have to know that at this exact moment, you think their blackheads resemble a nighttime constellation pattern? Not quite.
2. DO show AND tell- every day, don't let them EVER have reason to doubt how much you love and appreciate them. I see so many couples get comfortable, and stop putting in the effort. They lose the spark. Don't let it happen; a relationship is like a living organism. If they were physically dying, would you just stand there to the side and watch it happen? If the answer's yes, please back away from my blog VERY slowly. But for most of us, we would do everything we could to help them. So if the romance starts to die, stop whining and crying, go get a freaking AED and REVIVE the bitch!!!
3. DO talk to each other- but there's nothing wrong with silence too. It does not indicate a loss of interest or love, or that you have nothing to talk about. Feel free to tell them about the awesome flying dream you had last night, while flapping your arms like a bird. If they really love you, they may even offer to hold you off the roof by your ankles to have the most accurate waking experience of that dream possible. They do not need a monologue every day dedicated to the profoundness of the cornflakes/cinnabon/poptart you had for breakfast.
4. DO trust them- enough said.
5. DO NOT try to take away their friends- I cannot even FATHOM it when men or women tell their s/o that they CANNOT have friends (both their gender AND the opposite gender), or hang out with them alone. To me, that indicates a huge lack of confidence, that they cannot be with anyone without your supervision or permission. I realize not every couple feels this way- but it is MY two cents. If I told Cookie Monster he couldn't have any friends without me there, and therefore I HAD to be wherever he was, I'd freaking KILL myself to escape the boredom that would ensue. The reason he has friends is they find similar topics interesting- which a lot of the time, I DO NOT agree to be fascinating. I find counting the number of hair follicles on my head to be more thrilling than do some of his favorite hobbies. Him having friends means I get to AVOID this and do what I want :-) Win? I think so.
6. DO keep the intimacy alive- however possible. No relationship should revolve around or depend on sex. But there's a certain emotional intimacy that goes along with physical (meaning sexual) intimacy. So if the physical intimacy suffers, the emotional well-being of the relationship will suffer IF that emotional intimacy is not achieved SOMEHOW, in another way. How each couple handles it is complicated, and up to them. But if the sex is lacking (or lagging in awesomeness), make sure it gets addressed however you feel comfortable.
7. DO NOT play games- of the mind variety, I mean. Please, play whatever board games you like together. But leave the calculating manipulation and control on said board, where it belongs. Be mature adults, and try to work out your problems as such. Because in the end, mental and emotional games ALWAYS backfire. ALWAYS. And then the only Battleship that will sink will be the one your relationship sailed on.
8. DO say sorry- often. This doesn't mean they are right, and you are admitting defeat. But it lets both parties show they regret any nastiness that occurred during a fight, and even if you still don't agree, you do still love each other. After all, if your favorite and very dependable vibrator ran out of batteries every so often (as they usually do) , you wouldn't just throw it out and go buy a new one, would you? Well I hope not, those things are hella expensive. But what is more expensive is the cost of stubborn pride on a relationship. Don't let it fall apart because you couldn't say two little words.
No comments:
Post a Comment