As the new year begins, we all start out with new resolutions. Although we have the best of intentions, they rarely last. This year, however, my life depends on a fresh start, a new way of life.
I don't think I need to explain that divorce is devastating. I could go on until I'm blue in the face, and while I've been told blue is a flattering color on me, I doubt the same can be said for suffocation.
This year, my resolution is simply this: to continue on. I am still in the throes of the most difficult period of my life. The weight under which I can feel myself struggle every day is even greater than the weight I've physically amassed in the past few years. Milan Kundera said that to feel light was to lack being; I'm not entirely sure I agree. If this is what he meant by "having weight," then he can keep it. No offense.
As I watch dear friends graduate, get engaged, get married, have babies, and move forward, it throws into sharp relief the stagnancy that is currently my life.
So this year, my hope is for the flow to begin again. To find my own way to move forward, and take that leap.
